Lying down on the bed, I kept staring at the ceiling. The clock went tick and tock, the dogs hauled making a shriek noise and my thoughts roared weaving the fancy stories of an unlived past and unseen future.
Time glided away; every now and then I would look at my phone, go through the feeds, make a trip to the bathroom or just hop into the kitchen looking for something to eat. This has been the story of my nights for the last twelve months. I can’t remember the last time when the darkness lured me to sleep and mornings wake me with a new zeal.
Some days I wept over my ex and some days I felt haunted by the random probabilities of my dwindling future. Basically, my nights were sleepless and my days were drowsy and dreamy. Every fortnight, I get this bad headache that throb every nerve of my brain and my final resolution was always popping a disprin or sarIdon.
Maybe it’s the new world of motherhood, the stress of my overloaded work or the fact that I am a single mother. Raising a new life is always difficult but the odds cross all bounds when you have to do it all alone. From the time I was carrying my baby in my womb, specially the third trimester I lost that innocence of sleep.
Ever since then, there has not been a single night where I cuddled in the cozy sleep. Sometimes it’s my wailing baby or sometimes it’s the pressure of defying deadlines the clock kept moving and my eyes wide open.
No matter how much I wanted, but I could not care enough for my little daughter. I was drained of all my energy; I could barely carry her in my arms or play with that eccentric energy that she pours in.
Life was getting hectic and somewhere in all the chaos my health was running out of the doors. I browsed through the pages on the internet researching on my condition and trying to find a cure. In a few minutes the world of web took my diagnosis from insomnia to some fatal cancer. I looked at the sparkling eyes of my daughter, and feared for a dreadful disease that could tear us apart.
That evening I dressed her up and got ready myself and went to my Ayurvedic doctor for a consultation . I spoke to him about my mild depression and the stress and anxiety, my chaotic lifestyle and almost opened every page of my life.
The doctor diagnosed me with primary insomnia and assured me that it was neither fatal nor incurable. He comforted me with a sweet promise of sound sleep.
Unlike my expectations of getting a long list of Ayurvedic medicines, he just scribbled a single medicine ‘NIDRON’ for my sleeplessness. He also taught me a few yoga poses and handed me some regulated dietary guidelines to follow. I don’t know whether it’s the lightness of my heart from pouring my life out or the medicine calming my nerves but that night I slept as peacefully as my little child.
I continued the complete course and now I fall asleep as soon as I jump into the bed and hug my pillow.